Charlie's Chuckles Club
by ProngsNargles
Summary: A huge fair. Two lost girls. Two o evil Slytherins. Two Ravenclaws who plan to use their brains for no good. Two hungry Hufflepuffs. One reckless Lioness. Two people in love, who can't stop making out. And one very weary uncle.


The Potter-Weasley house was unusually quiet. It was not something any of them had experienced since a long time. Molly had put the kids to bed and had returned to her room herself. She enjoyed taking care of her grandchildren but even she couldn't deny that it was exhausting.  
Meanwhile the Parents sat at the kitchen table hugging mugs of coffee. They were glad to have Molly. Honestly, they could do with all the help. It was four in the morning and even with Molly there, they had just managed to send the kids to bed. They looked tired as hell but each one was grinning from the inside. Peace. Quiet. This was the best thing ever.  
"You know the Daily Pro..." Hermione began but was cut with a harmonious melody of "Shhhh"  
"Not now 'Mione." Harry groaned.  
"Yeah I guess you're right." Hermione sighed for what seemed like a millionth time that day.  
There was silence for another five minutes when Percy started humming a tune.  
"From all the days of his life he decides to give his debut performance now...Aghhh" George groaned and Percy glared at him.  
"I'm trying to keep myself awake. Have a better idea?" Percy hissed.  
"Yeah plunge your head in water a couple of times and Shut up." Charlie answered.  
"What are you on about? You only have to bear this during Christmas." Bill frowned.  
"And thank Merlin for that." Charlie shot back.  
"You don't..." Percy began but was cut mid-sentence.  
"Shut up...Shut up...Shut up. All of you." Audrey screamed.  
"Merlin Audrey. Relax." George said.  
"You know what?" Ginny said grinning.  
"What?" Angelina asked looking wary.  
"Why doesn't Charlie have a kids day out? I know they would love spending time with their uncle Charlie." she smirked.  
"Actually...that isn't such a bad idea." Ron laughed.  
"What? Are you crazy. No way." Charlie retorted.  
"Who agrees with Ginny?" Fleur interjected.  
Hands shot up immediately into the air like players at the start of a Quidditch match.  
"This isn't fair." Charlie complained  
"Majority wins." Ginny sniggered.  
"Where should I take them? I don't know a thing about kids." Charlie whined.  
"The wizard fair. It's going on in the next town" Audrey said.  
"No, not the.."  
"So it's sorted then." Harry laughed.  
"Have a good time Char." George teased.  
"I hate you. All of you."  
"Stop whining like a baby. Your days are gone now." Bill smirked.  
Charlie stomped out of the room. The others heard him grumble and burst out laughing.  
"Was that mean?" Ginny asked.  
"Everything is fair in love and war sis. And we wage war with the devils everyday." George laughed.  
"I agree." Ron grinned.  
"So what are we doing today?" George asked, all pumped up now.  
"Sleeping." the others chorused.  
"Bloody Nargles! Are we all old now or what?"  
"Not going to work George." Angelina said pulling him towards the stairs.  
"But..."  
"No."  
"At least..."  
"No."  
"Ok. Fine." George sighed, giving up. If there was one thing he couldn't do, it was win a fight against Angelina. Well, at least he had a day to himself. Maybe, he could spice it up a little. Or maybe a little more than that.

****

You would think that a man who had worked with dragons for half his life could manage a group of kids. What was the big deal? The answer to that question is that these weren't just any kids. They had the Potter-Weasley genes. Anyone else would have just shrugged this off. Anyone who didn't know the families. But being a part of it, Charlie knew better than to do that. He had his defences up already, bracing himself for what he knew was going to be the worst experience of his life. But even Charlie Weasley seemed to have underestimated the potential of these troublemakers.  
Charlie had a smug expression as he drove the children to the fair. He had finally learned the skill from Harry and was pretty good at it. It was the easiest way to get the lot to the fair. Side-along apparition was not possible since there were so many of them. Even if Teddy and Victoire helped, there were just too many of these devil's minions. And he didn't want to risk leaving even one of them without supervision. He was pleased that none of the kids had made any attempt to disrupt the peace in the car. Maybe it was because they were still worn out from yesterday's havoc. But Charlie had another theory to this. For some odd reason he felt that his presence had created the atmosphere. Didn't he have that effect on many people? He couldn't deny that he looked intimidating and since he worked with dragons, people really looked up to him.  
These kids however, never seemed to be one of them. Maybe that was because their parents and uncles and aunts were always around when Charlie came over. He had never spent alone time with any of them. Charlie was already preparing a speech to give his siblings and their partners about managing children.  
But fate had something else written for him and it wasn't the victory speech. And maybe his head was too up his ass for him to see that. Charlie finally pulled over a few yards away from the square where the wizard fair was on and the children filed out of the car without a word.  
It seems fair to give someone a warning when something bad is going to happen. Just so that they at least have a chance to escape. But the Potter-Weasley kids never worked that way.  
"Ok. So here's the plan. We all go through each ride and stall together so that we don't get separated." Charlie said with a superior expression on his face.  
"You're boring" James remarked.  
"Hey. I'm not." Charlie retorted. The last thing he wanted was to be called boring. Charlie Weasley and the word boring were never paired together ever before. Oh Merlin! He was turning into pre-war Percy.  
"Oh no. You're all about the fun." Fred coughed.  
"Aren't you a little too cheeky?" Charlie replied looking reproachful.  
"So I've been told." Fred smirked.  
"We'll be good. Just don't keep us together. Please Uncle Charlie." Lucy said with the most innocent expression anyone could pull.  
This melted Charlie a little. And he hoped he wasn't making a mistake when he replied "And you promise you won't go too far and meet me near the entrance at seven?"  
They all nodded with enthusiasm. So Charlie finally said "Ok then. I still have to keep an eye on some of you. So Lucy and Lily you can go with Teddy and Vic since they're the most responsible in the group."  
"Nooo." Victoire and Teddy whined.  
"Yes." Charlie replied. "Unless you want me to separate the two of you."  
"No. That's fine." Teddy grumbled.  
"Roxanne, Rose & Dominique look like they can take care of themselves. So you can go on your own." Roxanne and Rose high-fived each other, while Dominique smirked at Fred, who showed her the middle finger, which luckily went unnoticed by Charlie.  
"Louis and Hugo hmmm. Yeah you can go too." Louis grinned at Hugo.  
"And now finally." Charlie sighed. "What should I do about the four of you?"  
"We can manage on our own." James broke in.  
"Unfortunately our opinions differ." Charlie replied.  
"Although you two seem to be a handful too." Charlie continued, pointing at Albus and Molly. His brows were furrowed as he tried to decide which way to go.  
"I guess I'll go with James and Fred. I can't believe that we've come to a time where I can trust Slytherins more than Gryffindors." Charlie grumbled.  
Albus snorted and James glared at him.  
"Don't be too happy. I may check on you some time later."Charlie told them with a warning look.  
"And we'll make sure that's pretty soon." James whispered, so that only Albus and Molly could hear him.  
"We can always send him back." Molly smirked.  
"And we can do the same." Fred snorted.  
"Let's see who wins."Molly challenged the boys. "What's that game Uncle Harry taught us?"she said turning to Albus.  
"Tennis." Albus replied, grinning.  
"Yeah tennis." Molly repeated. "Let's play tennis with our dear Uncle Char."

Charlie didn't know he was going to be tossed like a ball across the invisible Slytherin-Gryffindor court. But there are times when you can change the game when it gets boring. Maybe because of certain circumstances or maybe just for fun. This was going to be one of those many times when Football or Basketball is preferred over a monotonous game of tennis.

Charlie knew he was heading for trouble. Anything to do with James and Fred couldn't be good. Nothing seemed right about this. Well, it wasn't supposed to be, if his siblings had planned to throw him into this situation. 'You'll be ok. You'll be fine.' he kept reassuring himself until they came to a stop. "It's not going to be ok." Charlie said as he stopped right in front of the giant horror.

He looked at the huge Quidditch pitch in front of him. Only it wasn't a quidditch pitch. It was a ride . A broom ride. One that Charlie was particularly fond of when he was a kid. But as he looked at it now all he could sense was danger. He knew exactly how it worked but even that wouldn't help him much. His reflexes weren't the same as they were 20 years ago. The worst thing about the ride was that it didn't throw danger in your face while you were expecting it. It took you on a slow ride, allowed you to enjoy the ride for a while and then everything is thrown at you at once. The speed increased with every minute to the point where you couldn't hear or see anything around you. Then there were the obstacles where you had to go through rings, the sizes of which kept increasing and decreasing. You couldn't control the speed of your broom, just the direction. So if the ring got too small you had a chance to swerve away or you got hit right in the face.

"C'mon Uncle Charlie" James said,pulling him by his hand.

'Why...Why the bloody hell should I be between your brooms?" Charlie stuttered.

"So we can help you if you're in trouble." Fred replied innocently.

"Yeah, that's what it is." Charlie cursed them under his breath. What he had expected was standing on the ground and keeping a watch on them. He didn't expect THIS.

Charlie had no choice but to follow them. Keeping an eye on these two was more important than his... life? Maybe he was being a little paranoid now. He mounted his broom hoping that his reflexes were still as good as they used to be.  
Well, as he expected they were ... NOT. When Charlie dismounted the broom he was sure that he had broken a few bones. He was also sure that it wasn't only because of his bad reflexes. He could see that James and Fred were trying really hard to lead him headfirst into any ring that wasn't big enough for him to fit through.  
" So where do we go next" Fred asked, running to catch Charlie as he dropped to the floor.  
"WE are not going anywhere." Charlie replied, holding his head. "You can go wherever you want to. Just stay away from me."  
"Really?" James grinned.  
"Leave before I change my mind." Charlie grumbled.

After struggling hard to get to his feet Charlie decided to check on the evil twins. He passed a few stalls and when started to go left, he heard someone calling out to him. He turned. And that was a terrible mistake. Before he had a chance to react he was showered with dungbombs.  
"STOP IT" he screamed. But when two dungbombs hit his face he decided that getting away from there was a better idea. He cursed when he found Albus and Molly laughing at him. What on earth had made him think the Slytherins were better?  
After magically getting himself cleaned Charlie thought checking on the Ravenclaws and Dominique wouldn't be such a bad idea. Ravenclaws were normally peaceful people. They might have probably buried their heads in some books. So he checked the book store but to his surprise he didn't find them there. "Uncle Charlie" a voice called and Charlie turned to find Roxanne waving to him to join them. That was the first friendly gesture shown by any of them all day and Charlie was happy that he could finally get away from bone breakers and dung bombers. He entered the tent but there was no one inside.  
"Roxy?" he called out. "Rose? Dom? Where are you?"  
"In here." they responded simultaneously. The only problem was, it came from three different directions. Charlie decided to go to the right because right is always right, right? But he couldn't be more wrong. He found them. All three of them. Only they weren't actually there or were they? He could see hundreds of Roxannes, Roses and Dominiques.  
"Just come out already." Charlie yelled, hardly able to control his temper now.  
"What is it? Too dumb to catch an eagle?" came Rose's voice from the left.  
"Or too cowardly to catch a lion?" Dominique teased.  
"Or both." Roxanne's voice came from behind him.  
Charlie turned but he couldn't find her.  
"Burn in hell." he grumbled and turned around to go. "You'll probably find a way to get back and kill a thousand monsters on the way."

Just when he thought he was done taking care of these kids and he wouldn't bother any more, something caught his eye that made him really regret getting the kids here.  
Hugo and Louis were at a food stall. Ob-vi-ou-sly. But it wasn't a normal food stall. It was a food competition stall. The person who could finish the most sandwiches would get free coupons to the food parlours in Diagon alley for six months. Food for more food. It didn't make sense to him but apparently Hugo and Louis found some logic behind it because their mouths were full of sandwiches and there was a whole table in front of them.  
"Get out of here, you'll get sick." Charlie screamed. None of them looked up but Hugo made some grunting noise which Charlie took for a no, as he saw him stuffing more sandwiches in his already full mouth.  
"I need to find Ted and Vic. We need to get of here now."  
Charlie searched and searched but Victoire and Teddy were nowhere in this section. So he headed the other way.  
Halfway through the second section he spotted something and he made his way slowly up to the back of a ride. Charlie sighed loudly and made the kissing couple jump.  
"What on earth are you doing? Where is Lucy and Lily?" Charlie asked in a defeated voice.  
"They're right here." Teddy pointed out to a stall in front of him but Lucy and Lily weren't anywhere near.  
"Where?"  
"They told us they would be right here?" Victoire said, looking around.  
"And you believed them?" Charlie almost cried.  
"What else could we do?"  
"How about put a leash around their necks and never let go?" Charlie stomped his foot in frustration. "Help me find them now."

Minutes passed. An hour or two. The whole Weasley family was searching for Lucy and Lily now. Of course some of them like Hugo and Louis were hardly of any help. Hufflepuffs may be good finders but when you have a badger with its stomach so full, it can barely walk, it's hardly of any use. Finally Rose burst out "The muggle section."  
"What?"  
"We haven't checked the muggle section. How could we be so stupid? That's the first place we should have gone to."  
"Then go. Go. Go. Go." Charlie nudged them.  
"That tone won't make us go any faster." Fred frowned.  
"Now." Charlie shouted.  
"That will." James said running to the muggle section.  
Rose was right. There, up on the giant wheel, Lucy and Lily were having the time of their life.  
"Get them down. I'll start the car." Charlie said. He didn't have the strength to shout at anybody any more.

Once they were all in the car Charlie felt relieved. He would finally reach home. He could finally go to his room and never leave it. Ever. As the car jerked forward Charlie felt something splatter on his back. He turned to see Hugo and Louis puking.  
"Great." Charlie sighed. "That's all I wanted to end this perfect day."

When the car finally stopped outside, the children burst out of the car and into the house.  
Charlie entered in what the others thought was the worst state they had ever seen him in. And seeing that he worked with dragons, that was saying something. But they obviously kept that thought to themselves.  
"You look in a fine state." Ginny giggled, making Charlie glare at her.  
"Where are y'all going?" Charlie said eyeing their bags suspiciously.  
"Well we thought that if you could handle the kids for a day, then a week wouldn't make much of a difference." Percy smirked.  
"Entirely my idea." George grinned.  
"Please tell me you're kidding." Charlie begged.  
"Why would we?" Hermione replied, as she entered the living room with another bag.  
"Enjoy your lovely holiday." Bill said, patting Charlie on the back.  
"Holiday? You call this a holiday? I'm not doing this. You listen to me." Charlie yelled as the others started leaving the house. "No. Wait. You can't do this to me. COME BACK." Charlie called out as the door banged shut behind him.  
"They're going to hell. All of them."


End file.
